To see or not to see. That is the question?

Yesterday, I visited my opthamologist for my six month eye check up.  I am developing “young persons’ cataracts”.   I am asking the Lord why He allows difficulties with my eyes.  Several years ago, I had basel cell cancer on my right lower eye lid.  I had 2/3 of that eye lid surgically removed.  A strip of skin was taken from my upper left eye and used to create a sort of patch where the cancer had been removed.  My eye was sewn shut for six weeks after the surgery.   My mom tells me that I became hysterical as a little girl geting my eyes examined.  As an adolescent,I tried to put contacts in my eyes but got inches away and chickened out.  It’s an eye thing.  The cataracts have grown since the last check up. There is a pretty good chance that I will need them removed within the next year.  Right now, at night, headlights coming towards me look like the sun.  Rays shoot out from the center of the light.  The doc told me that is called a “starburst”.   There is beauty even in the growth of something that could, without intervention, take my sight.  Perhaps, some day, I will behold the Lord.  His face will shine like the sun.  Until that day, aside from alleviating my cataract stress by eating half a loaf of chocolate chip banana bread, I will choose to focus (no pun intended) on the everyday beauty that surrounds me.  The sound of my finches singing to one another, the sunshine beaming through my dirty patio windows, the sound of my clicking valves.  I choose life today.  Today will take care of itself.  I choose the starburst.

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About linnysue

Just an ordinary girl living with chronic illness and surviving physically, emotionally and spiritually by the grace of God
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