Stoopid

Last night I watched the finale of “So You Think You Can Dance“.  It is my favorite tv show.  I was checking face book comments as I watched the show which is amazing in itself.  Comments came in fast and furious from everywhere the show is broadcast.  I’ve loved watching the show this year.  I marvel at the beauty of the human body in motion,be knowing full well that my body has never moved in the way those dancers can.  Well, maybe my mom manipulated my limbs when I was 2 or 3 weeks old.   Earlier that day, a writer friend gave me a compliment on my blog.  Oh My Gosh, I was on cloud nine when I read her email to me.  Her opinion on writing is like gold.  And then, last night, it happened.  One comment came in about the show and its writer used the word “stoopid”.  I laughed out loud at the ironic spelling.   I reread it.  Laughed again.  Stoopid.  Tee Hee!  After the show, I snuggled up to the computer and I smugly read through my earlier posts.  There it was.  Syntax errors.  Auto correct errors I didn’t find when I proofed the post.  Grammar mistakes.  And that’s when I remembered what it is like to feel stupid.  And then, that’s when I realized that I’ve felt stupid quite a lot in my life.  I’ve made stupid mistakes both personally, physically, professionally, socially and spiritually.  A lot of them. (yes.  Sentence fragment but this is the way I really talk.)  I still feel stupid when I am around the brilliant and talented.  I am still making stupid mistakes and try to cover up my feelings with all kinds of blankets.  I have blankets called humor and withdrawal.  I have quilts I’ve lovingly made out of anger and bitterness.  Even though Gods me I am fearfully and wonderfully made, hey, I can’t fill up all of my heart with that truth.  I am crying out this morning for Love to lift me, Love lift me, when nothing else can help, Love lift me.  May His grace cover my stoopid today.

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About linnysue

Just an ordinary girl living with chronic illness and surviving physically, emotionally and spiritually by the grace of God
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